Notice what you love

Posted on 15 April 2008

Hi, this is Marilyn checking in. After seeing clients all day yesterday, this is what’s on my mind.

Do you ever stop and think about what your predominant thought about your partner is? Do you wake up in the morning thinking “oh, I’m so lucky to be in this relationship?” Or do you focus on what you’re not getting? I wish we’d have sex more often? I wish he/she wouldn’t spend so much money. Why can’t we ever have dinner at home? go to a movie? take a walk together? I find it amazing that most people feel that their predominant thoughts about their partner are loving, yet when they actually stop and think about it, they realize how negative their thoughts are. One of the fastest ways to improve your relationship is to focus on what your partner is doing right. Even if they have a list of behaviors you’d like them to change, focus on the behaviors you appreciate. Mention the things you love about them. I promise you, if you can do that consistently, the list of behaviors you like will increase. An added bonus: you’ll actually get happier and start loving them more. Try it for a week and let me know what happens.